The One With the Not So Clever Title

I always try to come up with a title for my blogs that might catch your interest.  With this blog, I couldn’t come up with one.  That probably is correlated with the fact that this has been a strange week.  I was talking with a friend a few days ago, and I was telling her that I don’t even know how to put in words some of the events that have gone on.  Put simply, the 3 of us have had a really hard time being here.  I’ll go over some of the reasons it has been so hard:

Springbok General Store

1)  I personally came in with the mindset of, “Jessica, beware of any expectations you have, because you know expectations usually lead to disappointments.”  I had especially prepared myself mentally for the fact that relationships probably would not pick up right where they left off last year in April when we left.  This was the main thing I was concerned about.  I wanted to be prepared for the worst.  Maybe the people we spent a lot of time with, didn’t really want to spend time with us or maybe they aren’t even here anymore.  So, this was my main focus.  I didn’t really think about my expectations for ministry.  I wasn’t too worried about it because I just thought to myself “we will just do the same things we did last year: spend time with the children in the community at the care points and visit the terminally ill at Hope House.”   Plainly put, ministry has been incredibly difficult.  Everything has been so much more difficult than we could have expected.  Today for example, we planned on going to the care point and being with the kids of Timbutini, but when we got there, we found there was no water = the women can’t cook for the children, which is the entire reason the kids even come to the care points.  So when there is no water, there is not food, and therefore no kids.  So we just walked home.  It’s hard to do ministry when people aren’t there.  This has kind of been the norm for us.  Basically things that we plan don’t end up being possible.  Even in the smallest of plans, we feel very defeated.  If you are reading this that probably means you supported me in coming here, so I don’t want you to think that your donation to me was a waste.  I’m just being honest about the difficulties we have had here.  That is not to say that we have not had beautiful moments as well. 

2) Coming independently (without an organization) has proved to be harder than we thought.  I am an INCREDIBLY independent person (right mom!) and love when I can do something on my own.  So coming to Africa, on my own, with just 2 friends was very appealing to me.  I was completely confident that we had everything figured out, and the things we hadn’t planned, would just fall in to place once we got here.  Simple enough in my mind.  Obviously everything has not fallen into place as we would have liked it to.  We have been able to do ministry at Hope House and with the children in the community, just not as much as we wanted to.  We are constantly reminded that things in Africa are just more difficult than in America.  For example,  one day we planned on going to the care point, but it was pouring down rain and freezing cold outside.  If I were home, the only thing that would be different is that I would grab and umbrella and jacket then go get in my car and go wherever I wanted to go.  In Swazi, when it’s cold, people don’t do ANYTHING.  If it’s cold and raining no one goes anywhere, they stay inside ALL day long.  There are a few reasons for this:  Swazis don’t like the cold and most people don’t have cars, which means if you want to go anywhere you have to walk and no one wants to walk in the cold rain.  So we stayed inside all day.  We were getting very stir crazy by the next morning, but there was no reason to go anywhere because everyone was locked up in their homes for the day.  Also, I have been reminded of how thankful I should be to have a car.  When you have to take public transportation everywhere you go it 1) gets expensive 2) is inconvenient and 3) takes at least twice as long to get where you want to go.  So for the times we have gone places for ministry, we don’t get to spend as much time there because we have to factor in the time it takes using public transportation.

3)  Here’s a short one; being in Africa with 2 other girls and no man is scary.  Yes we live on a homestead where Lelo, 28, is 2 huts over but it’s not the same. 

4)  The 3 of us have talked a lot about the fact that we weren’t worried about the whole “giving up American comforts” because we had been there, and done that for 3 months last year.  We forgot the consider that we have been back in America for over a year and have very much adjusted back to the comfortable American lifestyle.  The only thing that’s different this time is that we knew what to expect as far as no running water and poor electricity.  That has not made it any easier though.  It’s not like we have been able to pick up where we left off and be really good at ‘roughing it.’  Unfortunately we are more spoiled than we wanted to realize. 

5) I CAN NOT wait to be back in a country where women are respected.  You may read this and disagree with me, thinking that American women are not respected.  But here in Swaziland, women are merely objects.  I can’t even describe how old it is, having men come up to you saying they love you, want to marry you, coming within an inch of your face telling you they want you, being grabbed as we try to find a khombi that is going to our village in the bus yard, being followed around by men, and the list goes on.  Yesterday we went to Mbabane, and on the bus ride there I was sitting next to Kaci.  She was sitting in an aisle seat, and as always men stopped and talked to us as they walked past, but there was an especially obnoxious drunk man that would not leave her alone.  He was literally an inch from her face as he harassed her.  At one point he even said, “I am not harassing you, I am just talking.”  I think his need to ‘clarify’ this, proves he wasn’t simply talking to her.  We have all come to the point where we are ready to backhand any man that bothers us.  I know that’s not the most loving response, but I think any woman that came here might feel the same way at this point.  We just can’t tolerate it anymore.  Even the weird attention we get as we walk around town, with men whispering all kinds of vulgarities about the “white girls.”  There have been many times where I told one of the girls, “Oh, if one of my brother’s were here, that man would not have just done that.”  I’m thankful for all the gentlemen in my life. 

Hopefully this blog has not come across as me whining the entire time.  I just want those who are following my trip, to know everything, even the hard stuff.  If you are discouraged after reading this, then go back and read my “Sweet, Sweet Reunions” blog of when I first got here.  I have been constantly reminded that mission work isn’t easy.  There are days when you feel like your presence is pointless and there are days when you feel like the Lord is using you in great ways.  We have had both.  We have decided that maybe the Lord needed to teach us some lessons that He couldn’t teach us as well in America.  The slow-pace lifestyle has forced us to rest.  This morning we all spent time reading.  I told them that if I were at my home in Bryan, I would have woken up and eaten breakfast then probably opened up my computer and spent an unhealthy amount of time on the internet.  But here, that’s never an option so we are taking advantage of that.  I have had conversations with the Lord asking, “Did I have to spend all this time and money, for you to teach me such simple lessons?”  But I’ve realized, I wouldn’t have learned some of these simple things at my home.  He brought us to the other side of the world, and is teaching us very simple, but good things. 

Thanks for you prayers and support.  I am so thankful to have been on this trip.  The Lord has shown me some things that I needed to figure out and couldn’t have done without coming back here.  It has been so good to spend time with sweet friends and make beautiful memories with them.  We will be flying out of Johannesburg, South Africa on Monday, the 8^th, so please pray for travel protection.  I always get a little nervous when I’m flying over the ocean for extended periods of time.  Can’t wait to be home.

Love to you all.

I Smell A Rat

“I smell a rat baby, I smell a rat baby. You better watch out.”

Patty Griffin sings these words and I feel they are an appropriate anthem for the past few days on the homestead.  You see, last year when we were here it was summer time so the main issue we had was bugs crawling on us throughout the day and night.  Now it is winter, so, no bugs.  But furry rodents are looking for refuge from the ‘brutal’ wind and chilly air at night so it seems they decided our hut was the place to be.  There was an Adventures in Missions team staying on this homestead that left on Tuesday and they warned us about these rodents, but we were not worried because Lelo reassured us that once we put the rat poison in there, it will not be a problem.  So we spent one more night in a different room so the rats could be eliminated without us ever having to lay an eye on them. 

Wednesday night was our first night in the hut.  We were excited to each have a bed to ourselves and to get settled into the hut.  Although we were slightly anxious about hearing/seeing a mouse/rat in the middle of the night, we were hopeful that the rat poison had done the trick.

this picture has absolutely nothing to do with the rat.  We only have videos of the rat and those take too long to upload so, I wanted to add a picture just for the sake of having one on this blog :)

3:30 am…I fly out of bed and jump onto the ladder on the side of the bunk bed.  I heard a noise that resembled a squeaky mouse = I freak out!  Katie and Kaci were also awake because they heard the same noise.  We aren’t exactly the fiercest of women, so we sat on our bunk beds with our headlamps looking on the roof and all around the room for the source of the noise.  Kaci gets out her camera to document this experience, which was hilarious to watch the next morning.  We are eventually tired of looking for the mouse and wanted to go back to sleep.  We kept inspecting the roof for anything undesirable and that’s when Katie saw a spider repelling down towards her head, so lots more screaming took place.  Followed by the smashing of every spider we could find.  We didn’t sleep much the rest of the night because we kept hearing a noise that sounded mousey but at least we never saw it!

Thursday night we were prepared for another sleepless night. 

12:00 am “He’s here!”  Is what Kaci and I heard, and we immediately went into a panic.  We knew exactly whom Katie was referring to when she said “He’s here.”  Katie was sitting up and said she just saw the rat jump down from the wall and run across the floor.  This was obviously not good news.  We spent the next hour and a half screaming and following the rat using our headlamps as a spotlight.  We were exhausted because we had realized that the best sleep we had was on the plane a week ago.  Fear + exhaustion = 3 sobbing girls.  Kaci and I kept saying, “I just want my dad.”  We felt so helpless and hopeless.  All we wanted at this point was rest.  In the past week we had slept, but even our sleeping time was stressful.  Up until this moment we had documented the chaos, but when the tears started to fall, we turned the cameras off.  Looking back, we all wish we could have seen this incredibly pathetic night.  We laugh about it now, but not the kind of laughing where you ever want it to happen again.  It’s more a “I can’t believe that happened” kind of laughter. 

We have not seen a rat in our hut since Thursday night.  On Friday, our dear friend/brother Mbonisi slept in the hut, which allowed us to finally rest, because we knew he would kill anything if he saw it.  Our minds were finally at ease.  Saturday night, Mbonisi and Phinda slept in our hut, only after they had killed a mouse that made an appearance in the other building where the kitchen is.  We were watching something on Kaci’s laptop when we saw 2 (or 3) mice scurry across the kitchen and yes, you would have thought something much worse was happening than the sighting of a few mice, based on our reaction.  Mbonisi walked in the kitchen and knew exactly what we had been screaming about.  Phinda pulled out his bush knife, which had been tucked away in his pant leg, and they casually walked around the kitchen look for the vermin.  When once was brave enough to run across the floor, Mbonisi quickly slammed his shoe on top of it, to which he replied, “Minus one.”  Yes, one less mouse we had to worry about.  Thanks Phinda and Mbonisi you are heroes. 

Bus Yard Adventures

Yes that is my huge chin, BUT here is a tiny glimpse of public :) Now just multiply it x10 and you have an idea

I will start out by saying that this first week in Swazi has been very challenging for us.  I wanted to share some of my raw thoughts and be transparent about the week with you.

Of course we came with lots of expectations, which should have only been a hint to us that they would almost all be broken.  Why does it seem like we have to learn the same lessons over and over again?  I guess because we don’t actually LEARN them J  Coming to Africa as a group of 3 girls has been slightly overwhelming.  We are constantly reminded that life would be a lot easier had a guy been with us, but we do have Swazi friends who help as much as they can.  Daily outings have proved to be incredibly stressful.  When we want to go somewhere we have 2 options: 1) walk or 2) take public.  We walk A LOT, but when we want to go to town or somewhere that will take hours to walk to, then we take public.  I don’t think I’m going to even try to explain public.  I will say that taking public (transportation in a ‘van’) to town is much easier than taking it back from Manzini to Timbutini.  You can spend hours waiting for a gumbi (pronounced koom-bee).  Thursday we spent 3 hours waiting for one, and finally called a friend who sent his brother to pick us up.  Once on the gumbi, you are sitting amongst 15-16 other people who have bags and whatever else in their laps, so personal space does not exist.  This part is not as bad as last year, when the weather was hotter than Texas summers’ and your body is sitting right up against another’s.  Thankfully the winter here has made that part more bearable.  So, it’s about 25-30 minutes from Timbutini to Manzini, depending on how long it takes to make it up all the steep hills.  Then the stressful part begins when we get to the bus yard.  The best way I can describe this is saying it is a mud pit with probably 100 buses/vans driving around with no regard for people walking in front of them, men SCREAMING the destinations of the different gumbis and every eye being on us as we walk through this massive bus yard.  Men love to grab our arms, yell at us, bring their friends to come and stare at us, etc.  You can see how this raises my blood pressure slightly.  Then you experience all of those things and more, when you come back to the bus yard to get a gumbi back to Timbutini when you are finished in town.  We absolutely dread taking public.  Last year when we would take public, we thought it was kind of fun, you know an African experience, but now we feel differently.  So although this may seem minor as you read it, it has been a huge stress this week for us.  Anytime we want to go do ministry, we almost always take public unless we go to the care point at the church by our homestead.  We have probably spent more time on a gumbi/bus than anything else this week.  So it has been a little frustrating feeling like we haven’t been able to spend as much time as we wanted to at certain places, because you have to consider the possibility of having to wait a long time for a gumbi to come that is going to your destination that is not already full of people.  Also, the sun begins to set at around 5:30 so that cuts out a huge part of our day as well because we don’t go anywhere once its dark, for safety reasons.

Monday we went to Hope House, a care facility for the terminally ill.  We spent time with a care-giver named Loveness.  A few girls on our team last year spent time with her on a weekly basis and we wanted to see her on their behalf as well.  She has one of the most beautiful hearts.  She is s single mom of 4, her husband died 12 years ago.  Her 2 older daughters are South Africa and Zambia (her home country) and her 2 younger daughters (17 & 14 years old) live by themselves in a town about 1 hour away from Manzini.  She shared with us how hard it is for her, how much she doubts whether she is a good mother because she is working and her daughters are living alone.  But she said “There is no other way.”  She is the sole provider for her daughters and the job she has at Hope House is the only job she can find right now.  I was in tears as she poured out her heart and talked about how much she missed her daughters.  She only gets to see them once a month.  We spent some time speaking into her life and praying over her.  I wanted her to know that she is a wonderful mother and that the Lord SEES her and wants to bless her for the sacrifices she has made.  That she is a strong woman, full of courage, to do something as hard as this.  We plan on giving her some money before we leave to help pay for her daughters bus tickets to come and see her. 

Wednesday we visited S.O.S. Children’s Village in a town outside of Mbabane (the capital city of Swaziland).  We talked with the director and he explained to us the purpose and vision of these villages.  If you look back at my blog of when I went to Bulembu last year, this place is very similar.  Swaziland can so many times seem hopeless, so it was very encouraging for us to go to a place and see the good things that are happening in Swaziland.  I have to dream that the Lord has something big for Swaziland and I can’t wait to see what it is.  Here is a link to S.O.S. if you are interested in sponsoring a child.  One aspect I really loved about this program, is that even though individual children are sponsored, the money goes into a ‘pot’ for all the children in the house.  There are 10 children in a house with 1 make (mother) so this way, all the children benefit equally from the funds.  You don’t have to give a certain amount per month, it is up to you how much you can give at that time.  Anyways, check it out if you want.

Sorry for the abrupt ending, but that’s all I have for this one!